Dealing With Divorce When Children Are Involved

Children of any age can be affected by their parents’ divorce, and how they react often depends on how much reassurance and stability they are given. While some will find the experience particularly traumatic, most will make it through with minimal disruption.

Reassure Them It Is Not Their Fault

It is important that children are reassured that their parents’ relationship issues are not their fault and that both parents will still love them after the divorce proceedings have concluded.

Children may struggle to comprehend what’s going on, so it is essential that things are explained in simple terms. Love and reassurance will be essential, particularly when upset or angry feelings surface; children often blame themselves, so making sure they feel understood and loved is crucial for their mental wellbeing.

Younger Children

Children aged three to five may grasp more details, yet still won’t fully comprehend what’s going on. Repetition may be necessary, and seeing both parents at regular times and places is recommended. School activities, outside activities and keeping friendships going are ideal ways of providing stability for these young minds. For advice on Family Law Gloucester, consider a site like deeandgriffin.co.uk/

Children at this age need lots of reassurance and affection; otherwise they may act out or withdraw from friends as a way of managing their emotions. Reading books about divorce or separation together may also help.

Teenagers

Teenagers typically understand more of what has caused a separation or divorce and can generally process this information more readily than younger children can. Still, it may be helpful for them to read age-appropriate books on this topic and to have support from family and friends.

Teenagers may begin to question if or why their parents decided to divorce, and may blame themselves. Such thoughts could eventually lead to depression or school refusal. If these issues continue, a professional therapist or support group may be necessary.

Putting the Children First

Your children need you and your ex-partner to put aside personal emotions, focus on their needs and avoid “bad mouthing” each other in front of them. Doing this may be challenging at first but will ultimately benefit everyone involved. Seeking professional help might also prove valuable, and in time children will learn to trust that things can work out.

Related: Is counselling right for you?